Cleansing From the Inside Out
Written by Bethany Curee, God’s Daughter – Freckled & Free

I’m human and sometimes that sucks. Isn’t that the truth? Our darn fleshy thoughts get in the way all the time in our walk with Christ. And folks I’m not lying when I say The Struggle is Real. This is an honest reveal of being a plain human and disclosing my uglies (insert eye roll emoji). Sigh.

Photo Sep 21, 11 34 28 AM (1)

Being a mom is already hard enough but for some of us women we get the extra benefit after growing a child inside of us, to then have to work harder than we ever have to get back to a healthy weight. Not all of us get the pleasure of this journey.

I have dealt with many frustrations of the up and down yo-yo of pregnancy…ex-large pregnancy…life after pregnancy….and wearing maternity pants for another year after the child is born. Dealing with the looks of others and finding yourself planning responses for the question you’re still getting…“when’s the baby due?” and your mind responding with…“oh she is two years old now…”

Even during pregnancy, towards the end I was always shocked at others daring words they would toss at you as if your pregnant shell had no heart and feelings…their eyes showed what their mouths followed up with, “oh my…I feel sorry for you, or you look two weeks overdue!” As if you aren’t sensitive enough in the daily routines of being a woman…add the pregnancy to the mix and it’s doubled.

I’m just saying I’m taking a chance to be very vulnerable…which is definitely s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g me. This has been a true struggle for me and so I’m sure it has for some of you. I have found myself angry at times at the whole ordeal. Angry at those blessed women who immediately leaving the hospital are in their size two jeans and XS shirts. I felt angry seeing tiny girls shove their faces with all the unhealthy food and eat freely whatever they wanted while I’m on bird portions making sure to make no mistakes to make any progress on the scale. Eating salads on a disciplined regime, chugging the water, getting the exercise in. Sure…I would treat myself occasionally to literally blow up like a balloon it felt.

And let’s be honest, all these thoughts they really weren’t fair. No one, not one…knows everyone’s lives. What they have gone through, what they are going through. Everything makes a difference…your genetic makeup, what is passed down in your heritage and so much more. Everyone’s struggle is different. I realized wasting time being jealous or depressed over someone else’s blessed genes (or jeans ha) is a waste of time. None of us…and I mean none of us are perfect, or without flaws or without struggles. So the truth is, I guess all this anger was really at myself. I was angry for not being strong enough to resist. For making some wrong choices and hitting up Holtman’s a few too many times to “treat” the pregnancy cravings. For falling into the trap of being lackadaisical because you have a “right” to when you’re pregnant (and don’t get me wrong I agree in treating yourself occasionally, but the overall thought process has to be to nourish the body).

I have been angry for having to work so hard at it all and I’ve been wrong. VERY WRONG. It wasn’t right of me to think that way and for that I say Jesus forgive me. Forgive me to those maybe reading this who fall into that category. It wasn’t fair to assume so many things. We have to know everyone faces different battles. I’ve had to accept responsibility for my own decisions, to take ownership of the body God gave me and face the bodily heritage that has been passed down to me. To take ownership and not make excuses. I am capable and while I’m capable now I’m going to do it and most importantly ask God for help all the while learning grace and patience for myself along the journey.

Photo Sep 28, 11 25 32 AM
Jogging & walking and kicking some weight at the beautiful cemetery my Father is buried in. Photo credit to my daughter Nakoda.

And let’s get this straight, I’m not trying to lose weight to compete with the models of today. I’m working to lose weight to be healthy for my family. I want to do all I can to be as healthy and strong for the work God has for me. At my core I believe it matters. God doesn’t approve of laziness or gluttony, taking care of my temple for Him is an utmost priority. And let me say, we are so blessed living here in America, truly I am grateful, however, I do agree that America has it backwards when it comes to food. Our processed and man-made food aisles are much larger than the healthy organic and fresh food options. It’s so convenient here to make bad eating choices which doesn’t help. Can anyone relate?! It takes work and will power living here to make good food choices for our body. It takes research and becoming aware of what goes in our food and our body to make the right choices.

We need choices that fuel and propel our bodies for the strength we need for the work God has for us.
Photo Jul 05, 1 27 52 PM
Purchasing a new cook book with all vegetarian recipes. SUPER inspiring!

I feel getting my body in order is crucial. I am learning to be disciplined and practice self-control. It’s been hard. Losing weight and choosing to be healthy is not for the faint of heart. As always the only way to accomplish any goal in my eyes is to ask the Lord to be with you, to help and guide you and He will. I truly feel deep down God calling myself and other Christians to get back to the way He designed for us to fuel our bodies. I love how God gave us His Word to guide us for everything we deal with in life and when it comes to our diet it’s no different. Our diet is a biblical matter and God desires for us to be wise and follow His guidelines. I believe He desires for Christians to take heed, to take notice and be disciplined in our choices.

Photo Oct 02, 4 55 41 PM
After my third child, Naomi Ezra, I was down to about 20 pounds from my High School weight.

I’ve done the calorie counting, and the low carb and I do believe it all works. After each child I had lost most of my weight again shy of 20-30 pounds I still wanted to lose to get back close to my high school weight. After my fourth child it’s been a struggle (pregnancy pictures below). Perhaps its that my plate runneth over or that in addition to it all we planted a church after her birth. Needless to say, it’s been MUCH work, much tears and an up and down weight loss for the last two, almost three years.

I’ve been disappointed in myself to say the least and I have had many feelings and emotions to work through here. But I’m not giving up. I have a goal in mind, and I will reach it. I want to prove to myself and my children that you can work hard at something and reach a goal. As the Bible for my guideline I felt the Holy Spirit pressing for me to get in line. To lay my diet and weight before the Lord and biblically get in order. Does that mean I will be perfect and always make perfect decisions? No. But I am darn determined to achieve and be obedient to not sinning in my body towards food. It is certainly a process. Back in 2012 after my second child we officially made the big switch to all organic food and noticed a world of difference in how we felt. That was the first step in years of transitioning.

Since then and through much prayer and seeking God’s will for my diet and my family’s diet, I strongly recommend and try to follow as closely as I can to the Eating By Design plan by Spirit of Health. All of it is biblically based. And when I say diet, I don’t mean for a temporary diet but for a lifetime of eating habits. For years I only fasted things like social media because life without food equaled pounding headaches. And let’s be honest it seemed like I was either pregnant or breast-feeding for quite some time. My body was in major need of some detoxing and revitalizing. The more I prayed about it the more I’ve felt drawn to this path found in the Bible. In addition to this mindset we’ve felt compelled to follow the biblical truths of fasting and have been working to follow closely to Jordan Rubin’s The Maker’s Diet. Again both are biblically sound. At the beginning of 2019 I completed my first 21-day cleanse which consisted of ONLY fruits and vegetables the entire time along with some supplements. What I thought was impossible became possible and I lost a whole 20+pounds from it. I’ve realized it truly takes disciplined baby steps each day to get stronger and I still have a WHOLE lot of work to do.

Photo Oct 03, 3 26 40 PM (1)
Photo my husband took of me after my 21 day cleanse when I could finally zip my coat again after a few years of wearing it unzipped.

While I didn’t gain it all back…I am now working on losing some of that weight again. A summer of traveling made for a yo-yo diet, in addition to the loss of my Father this year has done a toll. My husband and I have gotten serious about doing the intermittent fasting close to Jordon Rubin’s plan and have been eating within a 6 hour window (typically 1-7pm). We started this slowly pushing back our eating times later and later so that we wouldn’t have the major withdrawal migraines and we could adjust well. This has really worked and what I thought I would never be able to do without passing out, I have been able to do. I’ve proven to myself through doing my first cleanse and beginning intermittent fasting that I can be strong and capable at putting my whole self out there for a challenge. Not only for me but for God. We (my husband and I) want to honor God in all we do and that includes being disciplined and self-controlled in our diet as much as we can be.

I pray you find something you feel resonates with the Biblical way of taking care of yourself for better health. Just know as we adjust to lifetime changes, we must be patient to see the results. Years of bad eating habits got most of us here, it’s going to take a committed journey to get it back off. May you also feel pressed to do a cleanse from the inside out, to allow the Lord to remove our ugly thoughts and ask him to guide us in the diet decisions we choose for our temples. Lord lead us in all things. May we continually come to you to cleanse us, to purify us and make us whole in all ways. Our flesh is always willing to fail us, help us walk in the spirit as a whole.

I look forward to continuing to honor God in this extended weight loss journey and having my ears open for what He is speaking and teaching not only for us but for the body of Christ. My husband and I both desire to be an example to the Christian body that you can be disciplined and walk in holiness in your diet for the principles God laid out for us in his Word. We fully believe in ALL of His Word and we don’t believe we should cast any of His wisdom aside or brush it off as not important. Gluttony and laziness is just as much of a sin as pornography and lying. Ouch.

Photo Sep 12, 6 32 54 PM
Closely following Eating By Design & The Makers Diet: wild caught salmon, tomato basil organic quinoa salad and organic roasted beet chips.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 2 Peter 1:5-7

So here is what I have learned and am learning:

  • Love yourself because God made you
  • Embrace the journey set before you
  • Keep your listening ears on in all things for what God speaks
  • Do NOT compare yourself to other people’s journeys
  • Don’t be jelly (aka jealous)
  • God wants us to honor Him in our diet
  • Gluttony and laziness are a sin
  • Follow the Biblical principles as much as you can for your Diet (Eating By Design and The Maker’s Diet are great guides)
  • Get fasting back in your life (I’m fascinated how often they did it in the Bible, this needs to be a part of our life weekly)
  • Eat a rainbow of colors
  • Eat organic, non-gmo as much as possible, organic meats, free-range pasteurized eggs, wild-caught fish and butter from grass-fed cows
  • Get your probiotics
  • Organic/no synthetic ingredients in your vitamins where you need it
  • Raw milk from a dairy farmer
  • Work to get as many natural solutions as you can when you are sick

I have so much more to say with this, so many goals to reach and no I’m certainly not an expert or a naturopath or a doctor. I’m just a human trying to walk in the spirit and hear the King of Kings to the best of my ability. Will you plan to follow me on this journey? And along the way let’s encourage one another in Christ and learn discipline God’s way. There is nothing more important to me than being in line with God’s Word and desires, and while perfection isn’t a reality…making wise decisions to steward what God has given you should be a priority to not be forsaken.

Lord help us to get this all right and honor you in all we do, may we keep your temple within us a place of honor and Lord may others be inspired to do the same. God forgive me for the anger I had in this journey you set before me. I know with you I can do ALL things and when I am weak you are strong. In Jesus name I pray AMEN.

Photo Sep 28, 11 10 27 AM
May we choose life and not death while we still have breath with all that is within our power. Photo credit to my daughter Nakoda.

Written by Bethany Curee, God’s Daughter – Freckled & Free

10 thoughts on “THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

  1. Loretta Moore says:

    Beth, your words, I feel showed your inner soul for all to see. I have all my life struggled with my weight. I have a medical situation that people are not aware I have. If I eat to much green leafy vegetables I have the chance of getting a blood clot. I have a condition called factor five Liden. My blood is very thick. I say this because, the Lord has been dealing with me in fasting. I have heard of it all my life but never tried it for the right reasons. I will struggle with my weight but I know I will get there with the Lord’s help.


  2. Krissie Bates says:

    Wonderfully written. Bethany, you are an inspiration to me when I see your beautiful photos on Facebook of all the healthy meals you make. It makes me want to cook healthier options for my family. You are a strong woman and I know with God’s help you can do anything. By the way, your Freckled & Free name is awesome!


    1. bethanycuree says:

      Wow thank you Krissie! I know that always inspires me when others post their healthy food too! We have to keep inspiring each other 🙂 And thank you! Tom and I came up with it! Perfect for my freckled self 🙂 Plus I think others can relate to it.


  3. Barbara Golden-Viox says:

    I have always been an average size. I think the heaviest weight I was. At Menopause. It’s not only what we eat. It’s when we eat as well. I prayed about it. The Lord showed me to stop eating after six pm. That way your body fast til the next day. I’ll drink water or hot tea if I get hunger pain. ( Which I don’t anymore) I eat portion control as well. At 65 feeling great like I did in my forties. God bless, your blog is so encouraging to young women as well as more mature women.


  4. Patrick says:

    Fasting has become an frequent and important part of my life while. The times I seek to be closest to god are the time I deprive my body to allow th enrichment of my soul. Fasting brings a deep inspiration and passion for God and Life that can be found no where else. Fasting is best paired with Prayer. For those of you who choose a hearty fast and pray with all the passion and uplifting feeling of spirit that is in your heart. Amazing things will happen.


  5. Linda Wasson says:

    This post is both heart breaking and heart lifting. Love you for your honesty and for pointing out the importance of letting God lead us through our struggles. You are a blessing to me❤️


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