The Current of This Season
Written by Bethany Curee, God’s Daughter – Freckled & Free

I’ve been pondering the waves.
Studying their rhythm.
Constant—they are.

Never ceasing to wander
from their task.

Driven with a purpose.
A knowing in their going.

When to press forward.
Exactly when to retreat.

A rotation of calm— 
and thunderous.

I’ve been reflecting the gulls.
The fish and the animals.
The plants ever growing.

They know not of worry.

Never fretting,
they are born free.

As it is written.

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:26-34

I’ve been contemplating Abraham.
His willingness to go where he knew not.
(Genesis 12:1)

I’m reflecting on Joseph—
the life he didn’t imagine…
playing out that way.

I’m considering Esther,
And the life she was pulled from—
and yet destiny awaited.

The learning, the molding, the purpose—
the making in it all.

I think of Thomas a lot.
The doubter.
A label that speaks louder than the latter.

His story, (their stories) found significant—
for the feeding of sheep.
A necessary inclusion of biblical history
and truth collected in the Word of God.

The beauty of God’s choice of Thomas—
his insertion found fitting,
even amongst the twelve chosen disciples.

God’s knowing of his weakness, yet,
still God found him fitting for the job.

We find twelve different personalities,
attributes and giftings.
Twelve faith walks.
Twelve different needs.
Deficient of something to overcome.

A colorful array-
necessary for the whole picture.

A collection of broken people able to change—
Able to have HOPE in
who He called them to be—
DESPITE—
open & hidden spots of fragility.

God still said absolutely yes.

He wanted, desired;
matter of fact chose—
and created him (us, you, me).

Vessels found vital to this life.

“Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of nails, and place my hand into this side, I will never believe.” Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” – John 20:24-29

And God still said, “This is good,
he is my pleasing creation.”
Grace & mercy shown.

Judas fell to greed.
Peter needed to learn the art of controlling his temper—
and sharing the truth.
The rooster to taunt him.

Still Thomas had to overcome doubt.
Lies of the enemy fed his disbelief.

Gasp, we question how?
A disciple fall to doubt?
One who was amongst miracles.
And yet he still had need.
Lack waiting in his faith walk.
Gaps to be filled.

We too are alike.
At war with something of our own challenge.
Specific to our slot of life.
Perhaps a different battle.
A different fight.
Nevertheless a challenge to our faith.

Unique to the season.
On a rotation of conquering and falling.
Dazed and knee deep.
Progress ensues if willing
to put in the work.

And oh, sweet Jesus,
abandons not.
Patiently waits,
peacefully comes.
Interceding on our behalf.

At ripe timing,
ripe picking—
He speaks directly to the need.
Meets it face to face.

As we can see,
immediately—
Thomas’s faith is restored.
Doubting Thomas replaced by Believing Thomas.

There was a security in this exchange.
Thomas & Jesus.
A safe vulnerability.
A deep knowing of a child.
His creation.

Jesus knew all along.
In the depth of Thomas.
In the depth of Judas, Peter, you, me.
This personal need.
This personal problem.

An understanding of the inner-workings.
The upbringings.
The trails that lead him here.

We see a stable refuge for our troubles exemplified.
A secure place for our concerns that sway us
and shake our faith.

The calm of the presence of Jesus.
The peace.
A truth beyond our understanding.

Jesus simply puts it.
Thomas—
FEEL and SEE the truth you are beholding.

Doubts no longer able to run wild.
Like scales falling off his eyes.
Doubt bows to truth.

Truth reveals truth.

We too may know a battle overcome.
We are able with Him.
A storm silenced.
Muscle strengthened.
God molding the un-moldable parts.
The parts we didn’t know existed.

Meeting Jesus in that quiet,
secret place, truth meets trial.
Weakness replaced by—
His sound grounding.

There is an apparent truth,
from Thomas’s story,
a take-away to behold—
we serve a most thoughtful God.
A caring God. A patient God. A graceful & merciful God.
Even. When. We. Don’t. Deserve. it.

I find myself here.
Reminiscent of that Abraham.
Standing on the edge of the unknown.
Only a vastness before me.
With no “X” on the map.

Only listening for that still small voice.

Emptying myself.
Painfully learning life cannot be planned by me.
Making peace in the unrevealed plans of God.
Permitting them to unfold as He wills.

Breath by breath.
Step by step.
Day by day—
is all I can take.

But I am anchored in truth.
Drenched in HOPE.

Open hands.
Ready to be filled anew.

For a season of rest.
One thought at time.
One moment at a time.
Quietly listening—
until.

It is still here—
in the waiting.
But I’m eager
for the unknown.
Trusting the letting go of what I thought was best for my life.
Knowing He alone has a plan.

May the pages written for me by the almighty—
Fall. Into. Place.
Yes, Lord.

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13

Amen.

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

Lamentations 3:21-26

Written by Bethany Curee, God’s Daughter – Freckled & Free